The Mad Mermaid

I think the song I'm listening to is one of the saddest songs ever. What does anyone else think is a sad song?

Speaking if sad, I read We Need to Talk About Kevin. I don't usually read things that are serious anymore; it's all romance novels and non-fiction. However, someone had bought it on the kindle and so I couldn't resist. It was really heavy. I think it made me depressed all evening after reading it and I still don't really know what I think about it. I tried to convince my sister to read it so we could talk about it and she refused.

I spent all day at a stupid training and it didn't do anything to make me feel any better. I probably should just get what I need to get ready for tomorrow and lay down, even if PPJ is going to stay up.

After being careful for several days, I just accidentally leaned my forearm on something and popped my disgusting burn blister. On the same subject, I realized this afternoon that now that my shoulders aren't red anymore, the skin is sloughing off and I have tons of tiny blisters. I feel like such an idiot for getting a sunburn, and now I have to go to the dermatologist tomorrow with evidence of my shame.

PPJ has decided that she has to use my computer to watch Spongebob videos, which makes it hard to post. I am using my work iPad, but even with this keyboard that they got with it, it still kind of sucks. Esp because it is mac so the keys are in slightly different places. The iPad was such a waste of money. The only thing I use it for is fun or to let PPJ play with it.

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PPJ was invited to the pool today, so I just spent three hours frying in the sun and I'm beat. It's nice to see that other kids like her even though she's weird as hell. She has some kind of charisma that I don't understand.


I have my final exam due at midnight but I think I'm going to have to take a nap. It's also my night to cook dinner... guess I shouldn't have procrastinated so much! Don't let me sleep too long, lol.

So, while I slaved away the past two days on a bunch of graduate level, grade A bullshit, I watched a bunch of stuff on Netflix.

First, my sister told me to watch a documentary called The Rock-afire Explosion. I should point out that my sister's boyfriend (who is also a friend of my husband's) loves bizarre and weird movies, and is able to magically find them, and find them on Netflix. So lord knows how they stumbled across this, but they did.

Anyway, for those of you not in the know, such as myself before I viewed, The Rock-afire Explosion were the animatronic band that played at Showbiz Pizza in the 1980's. The documentary is basically about the creator of the Rock-afire and the super-fans that still love it--- so much that they own their own shows. It was pretty fantastic in a way that I can't describe. My sister found it kind of depressing, I think, which I didn't except in the sense of nostalgia or things being lost with time, but she doesn't really fangirl anything so I think to her the whole concept seemed kind of odd. To me, I actually thought it was kind of inspirational.

Another recommendation from my sister, but only because it was so bad: Santa Sangre. I am not going to link to it here, because it was the biggest waste of my life I've ever seen. I will cut for spoilers here, but believe me when I say the movie is spoiled to start with. Also, don't read if completely messed up shit will make you upset.

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The most mystifying thing about this movie is that if you google it, it's almost UNIVERSALLY PRAISED. Seriously. Not just by fans on Amazon but by almost all major movie critics. What a tour de force of the thought-provoking human condition of mans inhumanity to elephants and surreal incestuous cinema blah blah blah blaharrrrrrggggghhhh.


I think I hated the movie a lot more than I thought, now that I just word-vomited the whole insane plot in a stream of consciousness rage. Maybe nobody should read that.

To make up for this awful flick, today I watched Twin Peaks while I worked. Man, that show was so damn good. I've always wanted to find some good fic that wrapped it up after it was cancelled with all the cliff-hangers. I know it has to be out there.

Ok, my intent was to update about some media instead of life tragedy, and then read a book I got today used. I think I blew my wad with my frothing rant about Santa Sangre, but I do want to mention the book before I go to sleep.

It's called The Friendship Crisis: Finding, Making, and Keeping Friends When You're Not a Kid Anymore. (Why the hell do all non-fiction books have such long subtitles anymore? That's a rant for a whole other entry I guess.) It was referenced in this NY Times article. I was intrigued by the article and found it resonated with me, as someone who is lonely sometimes. Anyway, I will report back if it's any good. And if it's not, I'm going back to reading more gay werewolf romances by J.L. Langley.

I finished two assignments, half of a midterm, and three discussion questions today. Not bad, I don't think. I have three assignments, the other half of a midterm, and a final to go. I have 48 hours so I think it's manageable. The professor isn't a hard grader at all, and that will help. What won't help is that this is one of the most BS classes I've had to take in about ten years. Ugh. You'd think just making crap up would be easier than learning, but it isn't.

I never thought Tom Cruise was at all interesting when he was a young, wholesome guy, but now that he's old and creepy I kind of dig him. I feel ashamed.

I should be asleep but I am having trouble getting there. PPJ fell asleep for most of the evening, and I didn't wake her because I was sewing. I made her teachers and assistants aprons for their end of the year presents. I have been working on them on and off for several weeks and I really wanted to get them done today because school ends soon. I think they turned out pretty well. I will post pics of them; I tried to take some earlier but my phone was so dead it wouldn't let me use the camera function.

Anyway, that means that now PPJ is reciting some Aesop fable in a weird voice and has this really stupid Spongebob music video playing on repeat, so it's hard to fall asleep.

( Ok, I end up rambling on here... )

So, I have a Kindle DX that is a couple years old. Not sure about the model or whatever; it was a gift. It's early though, probably the first one. I have it because my mom is a Kindle freak. She gave me her old original kindle when she got a newer one, and then she got the DX and didn't like it so she gave it to me. (It's the one that is really large.) It has been good to me and I hadn't had any issues with it until the last four months, say, and it will reset itself periodically.

Well, since my mom is a Kindle freak, she got one of the new cheap Kindles to test it out. It has a touch screen but no keyboard and you have to use your own wifi. (My DX has mysterious Amazon connection that comes built in.) She wasn't able to get the wifi working properly, so when I was over there on Easter, she told me to take it and see if it worked with ours. It did (my stepdad has his wireless set up in this ridiculous, convoluted way that he insists is necessary to keep it secure but really just seems to make it hard to use, so I assumed from the first that it was that and not the Kindle).

I told my mom it was working fine, and so she told me I could keep it if I wanted it. Being a Kindle freak, she sees nothing wrong with owning a million of them, and she had mentioned before that I might want to buy a cheap one to carry with me since the DX is so large. The new one is less than half its size, and I will admit that if the DX is in my bag and I go grocery shopping or something, it does get heavy. However, I find something really anxiety producing about the whole scenario... I don't want to choose between the two. I have an irrational affection for the DX, and there are pro's and con's to both models. I could keep both, but then I find something stressful about the thought of having two Kindles but having DIFFERENT BOOKS on each one. It's making me set my teeth as I even type it. Basically I have been reading off both them for the past week and putting off a decision. (Because since the little one isn't really mine, it doesn't matter if the books aren't the same.)

Otherwise, the weekend has been OK. Friday at work was bad. I had several stressful meetings, and the main office finally decided to put out this emergency bulletin detailing how bad the funding for school is and what will need to be cut. I think that's pretty poor planning to do that at the end of work on a Friday. It really put me in a foul frame of mind, and then yesterday I had a really bad headache that I couldn't shake. I feel a bit better today, but I want to read a book and that's making me obsess about the whole kindle thing. Maybe I will play a game instead. Avoidance is an art.

but I wouldn't say I've been only having fun.

( Work, Games, and 90's movies )

So, I'm not sure what's wrong with me lately. I don't really feel depressed or sad, but I am super tired and have no energy. I also am finding myself avoiding most of the people I work with because interacting with them just seems so tiresome that it's not even worth it. Now, they can all be total idiots, but it hasn't even been that. It's been more of a "why the hell should I ask you how you are because I don't really care" kind of thing, but with no feeling of malice. I keep coming home and sleeping, and although I will complete assignments for my one class right before the deadline, in my other class I keep putting stuff off because it's self-paced and there's no penalty. So basically I have depression without a sad affect, so does that still count as depression?

Now, my back is still bothering me a great deal, and that is truly annoying. I can't stand for any length of time without it feeling like my hip joints are full of ground glass and someone is stabbing me in the pelvis. I've been seeing a chiropractor, but I've started to get paranoid that perhaps I really have some kind of bizarre disease or other issue and I just think it's my back. I did have some pain a couple weeks ago that was like when I had an ovarian cyst, so that's fanning the flames. I suppose I could go to the doctor and see, but one, I detest going to the doctor, and two, in my experience, they never help you with non-specific complaints of this nature anyhow.

In happier news, it's my husband's birthday this weekend and his friend and I have cooked up an elaborate plan to surprise him. He thinks his friend might have to work and won't be able to come into town. In reality, he is definitely coming (and possibly bringing another friend) and with him he will bring the new television that several people chipped in to buy and we had sent to his home to keep a secret. I am sure my husband has no clue he is getting a tv. Ours is very old, small, and basically sucks. It's even hard to play some games on it because the screen quality is grainy.

Well, even though it feels like Friday I should go to sleep because it's really Thursday. But let me leave you with an odd little nugget. I read rosehiptea's entry about going to the museum and seeing artwork by female surrealists. That reminded me that back in high school, I got a book on a whim at this giant book clearance sale that was by a female surrealist. I really loved it, but at some point it exited my life. I don't remember if I gave it away, or lost it, or what. Anyway, I was inspired to Google it, thinking maybe I could figure out what it was and pick it up again for a few bucks.

Well, the novel is The Seventh Horse and Other Tales by Leonora Carrington (who actually only died last year). However, it is out of print and used copies range from $37 to $322. For a paperback. I guess I should have taken better care of mine. D: